After another disappointing season in which Auston Matthews was sidelined for 26 games with an injury, the Seattle Kraken have made some massive additions to the core.

Scoring was a major issue for the Kraken this past season. The additions of Nikita Kucherov and Kevin Shattenkirk as free agents should provide the offensive production needed to guide the Kraken down the path to success.

Kucherov (31) agreed to join the Kraken when he signed a 6 year deal worth $84,000,000. Prior to signing in Seattle, Kucherov had spent the entirety of his career with the Tampa Bay Lightning. The Stanley Cup champion should provide much needed scoring, leadership, and experience to the young forward group.

Shattenkirk (35) agreed to join the Kraken when he signed a 6 year deal worth $37,500,000. Shattenkirk joins a veteran blueline hoping to be a steady presence on the back end.

Career minor league players; Tanner Kaspick, Reid Duke, and Jacob Moverare will get the chance to prove themselves at the NHL level.

Going into the 14th season of the Couch Coach Hockey League, the Kraken aim to make the playoffs for the first time since season 8.

A few years ago, I jumped in as the new Oilers GM. I was 90% excited and had 10% knowledge about the game.

I really did not have much to work with on the team. I did have a plan of a rebuild and making it mine. I was going to sell off some older guys and build with the draft.

Like most new GM’s I could only see the PA and SC numbers. I would look at a player and see the high skill number and think that’s what I need.

I only had one forward with 80sc. Still, I was going to stick with the plan.

I was at a big disadvantage talent wise. Trying to think of a way I could close that gap in each game. The two things I came up with was depth and having guys that did not take penalties. Staying out of the box gave me an extra 6-10min when I was not at that big talent disadvantage. I could shorten the game to some extent. My other plan was to run four lines. With the hope that at the end of the games my 76ov player was a 100%. While the 81ov guy on the other team was at 98%. I have no way of telling if any of that worked. My team was annoying to play at best. Low in the standing but not an easy two points you would hope to get down the stretch.

What I learned the first few seasons.

I picked up a lot of bulk talent in the draft with a lot of picks. Not a lot of stars. You need some luck for that. And the lottery is something you can NEVER count on. If it happens….. great. Other then that its not something to plan around.

I also destroyed the players I did consider “The Core” going forward. Its so had to get a player +2 in anything. Not having at least decent guys next to my core guys cost them points every season. The lineup from top to bottom would lose 1-2 points in DF each season. That’s on top of the skills going down.

At this point I was still on the take no PIM and run four lines plan.

Through the first three FA season I was more less shout out. I was 0-6 on max level bids being in the top spot. And that not counting the many still top level guys I missed on.

The guys I was able to get I did a good job selling them at 50% for picks.

It was next to imposable to get my hands on a top line center. If you did not have one to a swap around, you were not getting one. Even over bidding was not getting me a player in FA.  

Around this time Nico Hischier and Sabastian Aho hit the market. It cost five first round picks on top of all kinds of other things to get them both on the team.  

Now we are in seasons 4-7 and the talent level is climbing.

After winning my second farm cup I am starting to develop guys that have some trade value. Not the huge 80 80 you see now, but guys that had value and could be in a deal for an older forwards.

I was happy to land guys like Kevin Hayes, JVR. Or even old man Frans Nielsen.

I hit on Malkin with a 6x14m deal. We were in the playoffs hunt until the last day of the season only to fall short. We did make the playoffs the next season to have Malkin get hurt in game two and we lost in six.

Seasons 4-6 knowledge level is a lot different. I am starting to see the big picture. I am looking at things like PH and EN. And I am only worried about the big four with goalies.

The team has a lot more talent but struggles to score five on five. And I believe this is because I was so against PIM. I was regularly on the top of the list for fewest PIM. And the bottom of the list for hits.

PIM = Hits = Turnovers

There is a winning balance in there if you can find it.

I started to look for two-way players at this point. And really changed how I view the game.

At this point the team is better than it’s ever been. With Ryan Johanson, Aho, Hischier, Saad, Jennner, Texier, Dauphin, Ristro, Orlov, Hronek and Severson.

We still did not make the playoffs. And I kind of snaped and blow it up.

Rebuild 2.0

Now things have really changed. I still love the idea of rolling four lines. Always makes me think of the old Arkansas 40min of hell basketball teams. If you don’t know about them ESPN did a 40/40 on them. They played high pressure full court defense all game.

One thing I could not figure out was why Zach was getting farm guys at 85 points. And my guys were in the 72point range. And it was from me rolling four lines. I did the math one time and Zack’s best guys were getting 8-10 more games based on TOI.

All over the league you will see guys with nice core numbers in the 80 range across the board. And you will see them with 58EN. That was from running four lines. At the time I was looking to make sure they were going from 13:45 a game to 14:50 the next season. Only to later find out the EN is based on the season average TOI. Its just a above or below that league average number. The player goes up or down based on that.

Later, EN came into play as my team is ready to win. And its about fine tunning things like special teams. If you really need to know how much it can come into play you can look at Sebastian Aho 71EN and Connor Dewar 88EN.

Back to the rebuild. Now I can see the damage I have did to the player I planned to keep. This time is going to be different.

I feel there is only one way to do a real rebuild. You must have forwards in groups of three and defenders on groups of two.

I say this because you can have your three good forwards score and stay in the pulse while the team loses. The last thing you need is a 4th or 7th good forward. That player will just keep taking hits each season until he gets regular support.

This last time I started with six forwards and four defenders. And mapped and planned things out to push this from two lines to three lines all at one time. I was able to rebuild without my key guys taking core stat hits.

Team starts winning a little sooner then planned. And I got a shot at John Tavares. He is a top ten player in the league. And I kind of pushed all in. I also think Derek Stepan was a sneaky good move.

I though my team had a puncher chance going into the playoffs. I am not sure if you call it lucky. Even Fucking Fitzpatrick played worse in the playoffs then the regular season. And somehow in his win was three games we were outshot 2-1 and two more games were close to being outshot 2-1. Having a guy like Ilya Sorokin 5-2 to step in came in big. I was able to play a guy that was 100% every game.

The biggest thing may be this is the first time my guys will get a boost across the board. And not take hits on skills or DF.

The team is still in a good spot going forward. And still have Juraj Slafkovsky, William Eklund and Conor Geekie to look forward to.  

Lets roll it over.

Denver, CO - In a move that sent shockwaves through the CCHL, the Colorado Avalanche have acquired star center Mika Zibanejad, defenseman Joel Edmundson, and goaltender Andrei Vasilevskiy in a blockbuster trade with the Vegas Golden Knights. The Avs parted ways with their leading scorer, Filip Forsberg, as well as the league's best tender Linus Ullmark, and a young DFD in Alexander Romanov to bring back a familiar face and bolster their championship aspirations.

Zibanejad, who previously played for the Avalanche, returns to the organization as an alternate captain. His leadership and offensive prowess will be invaluable as the Avs look to make a deep playoff run. Edmundson, a reliable defender, adds stability to the blue line, while Vasilevskiy, is Vasilevskiy.

The Avalanche also traded Chris Kreider to the Boston Bruins for Marcus Johansson to further solidify their roster. Johansson brings a blend of leadership, defensive acumen, and versatility to the Avs.

With these moves, the Avalanche have significantly strengthened their top-end talent and positioned themselves as a serious contender for the Stanley Cup. As the trade deadline has ended, the Avs are clearly making a statement and sending a message to the rest of the league.

After missing the playoffs in back-to-back seasons, the Seattle Kraken have traded their captain Nathan MacKinnon, to the Toronto Maple Leafs. MacKinnon spent 7 seasons with the Kraken after being traded from Columbus and managed to rack up and impressive 577 points in 601 games played.

In return, the Kraken will receive noted playoff performer, Auston Matthews, and Memorial Cup champion, Matyas Sapovaliv.

This marks a new era for both the Seattle Kraken and the Toronto Maple Leafs as they look to reshape their franchises.

Boston, Mass
 

Get the duck boats ready!! There's a parade that's coming to town!

For Boston, it's party time. Thanks to the game 6 home ice win over the Winnipeg Jets last night, The Bruins have won their second Stanley Cup in 12 seasons. The first franchise in CCHL history to boast a GM to accomplish such a feat. Cool right? Hell YES it's cool. 
For Grant and the Bruins missing the playoffs in season 11 meant one of two things;  either move the remaining core of veterans out and infuse more youth OR get active on the hockey trade market. With the recent retirements of stars Patrice Bergeron, Zach Parise and two time Vezina and Conn Smythe trophy winner Tuukka Rask one could see where a rebuild might be the popular path. Alas Grant didn't see that as his best option instead deciding to make moves to retool the team. Acquiring, then trading, reigning Vezina winner Robin Lehner was the first big step however sending him out west for former Bruin captain and season 2 Cup winner Jordan Staal was the game changer. Just ask Michael Grabner who led the playoffs in points. Conn Smythe, step on up please. 

Speaking of awards, after Captain Staal received the Cup it was passed to the following players in the team order listed below;

Jordan Staal

Michael Grabner

David Krejci 

Charlie McAvoy

Andrew MacDonald

Matt Irwin

Chris Terry

Jaden Schwartz 

Tristan Jarry

Marcus Johansson 

Brock Nelson

Pavel Zacha

Jake DeBrusk

Ryan Lindgren 

Theodore Blueger

Michael Matheson

Louis Domingue

Colin Wilson

Mark Barberio

Nick Leddy

Matt Grzelyck 

Byron Froese

AJ Greer

Uncertainy remains in the offseason for Boston, including the possible retirement of David Krejci - second in career points on the B's - but for now it's party time. The Cup is in Boston again!!!

-- 2 hours before the CCHL Championship Parade --

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome our special guest host for this press conference..."

**Music starts blasting: https://youtu.be/eX_k5_egUAo?si=HLwP5SkOOZrZIe8m **

HH - "Whatcha gonnnnnnna dooo brother when the Tampa Bay Lightning runnn willddddddd on you!?!? Well I guess we saw what they will do in these playoffs! I can tell ya one thing brother, those players ate their vitamins and said their prayers because that was a team of destiny. That was like me and the Macho Man when we were the Mega Powers. That was like when I teamed up with Ultimate Warrior. That was like the NWO. **Hulk today isn't about you** Oh sorry brother let me get back to the champs. Tampa Bay, I got three chairs up here, are you ready to meet our first two guests??? Let me introduce to you, none other than my two brothers, and leaders of the CCHL Champs, GM Mike Ostrom and Assistant GM Chad Scanlan"

** Sexy Sax Man comes out and plays https://youtu.be/9fqsukliGYw?si=H5sLrq-oLxDXkGpk. **

AGMCS - "What a fuckin song to enter to. Just sounds like making love. In fact, that's the song we played after every playoff win when we were making love to the wives of the other teams. Memories."

Reporter - "Chad, when did you become AGM for the Lightning and what are your duties??"

AGMCS - "Ya know what's a lost art these days, investigative reporting. Big Mike over here hired me the day he started and you ding bats never even noticed. I'm surprised you found the door to this press conference! My duties are simple. I manage Mikes social media. I create some memes and gifs for him. I work his tinder. I make sure the players have all the social items they need. I tell Mike what trades not to make. It's not every day you have a tandem like us with so many finals appearances. I fake his signature for fan mail. It's a tough ass job that I get done from the beach. So I wouldn't mind if ya backed off. Before I hand it over for questions, which we will only take 3 because we are half in the bag and have a lot more to go, I'm going to pass it over to our fearless leader, the first 2 team/2 time champion, the holder of the best playoff record in one season in league history, GM Mike Ostrom"

GMMO - "Thanks Chad, you know when I took this job, I had to bring you in. The way you stacked those Flames teams back in the day and supplied them with all the candy they needed, I knew you would be a perfect fit for this star studded roster. You also handle the socials unlike any other. Thanks to the win, you get a 2 million dollar raise. Atta boy. Some people say I don't deserve this cup because it's not my team, and to them I say Chad's going to block you on Twitter. Sure I didn't build this core, but I got them the support pieces, the training, and the fuckin cocaine to power through the playoff like they did. They didn't sleep the whole time I kid you not. Sometimes it takes the smarter man not to blow the thing up, and just tweak what's right in front of you. Some key moves made this team the fuckin Globetrotters of the league, and it was amazing to watch. Those games already have more replays online than Mia Khalifa can even dream of. So ya, I'm proud of everything that team did, and il pat us on the shoulders as well for getting us over the mountain. Now you know I'm not fully evil right, and you are probably wondering why there is a third chair out here. Well I would love to welcome out as a showing of appreciation Mr Chris Bates"

** The Rolling Stones play https://youtu.be/Ef9QnZVpVd8?si=9gXDu1mY-bVfsa9B **

GMMO - "Chris, you built one hell of a squad here and should have had a win of your own in past seasons. On behalf of the Team we want to thank you for your hard work, and on behalf of me I want to thank Simon T for causing you a mental breakdown and rage quit, it's the only way I got the gig. We would like to present you with your CCHL ring, a custom jersey with the name "Winner" on the back and the number 1/2, and a bobble head of Jack Eichel."

HH - "What a moment brother, that felt like the time at WrestleMania at the Superdome ** Ask the audience for questions Hulk! ** Oh right. We got time for 1-2-3 questions! See what I did there? First you baldy in the front."

Reporter - "Mike what's the chance you guys repeat again next year?"

GMMO - "Nothing harder to do. We are the fuckin best and everyone wants a piece. Every game someone will try to hurt us. Plus we're gonna be on a bender all fuckin summer so the start of the season will be messy too. But let me tell you, if we make the playoffs, Chad has our dealer on "speed" dial." ** Chad winks and gives the hand pistol gesture**

HH - "Question 2 goes to cleavage over along the side"

Reporter - "What's the biggest tip you can give to other GMs in the league?"

GMMO - "Be patient, don't panic, find what works and work it. Also don't have a shit roster. Want to know about the tip I can give you?"

HH - "Final question, jacked looking guy in the middle"

Reporter - "Do you plan on signing any big max deal contracts soon, and do you have another position open?"

GMMO - "Sumit is that you?? Of course you can have a job on my team my man. Def not Director of Cap Compliance, but I think we need a new team photographer after those recent pics got leaked. Talk to Chado and we will get you all set up. Alright folks, were off to get plastered, see you next season!!"

Quick shout-out to Russ for making the off season fly by with minimal headaches. With that being said its time for my bold predictions for this season. Starting in the east

1. New Jersey 2. Tampa 3. NYI 4. Quebec 5. Washington 6. Boston 7. Carolina 8. Toronto 9. Columbus LOL 10. Ottawa 11. Pittsburgh 12. Montreal 13. Detriot 14. Buffalo 15. Philly 16.NYR

Takeaways from the east: Ottawa will struggle with Staal trying to replace Crosby, Rangers easily finish 16th as their roster is a tire fire, Columbus fades down the stretch to finish 9th, NJ easily wins the presidents trophy and could set the CCHL regular season points total, Carolina finally gets the simon T make a wish playoff appearance. Now lets do the West.

1. Vegas 2. Colorado 3. LA 4. Anaheim 5. Chicago 6. Nashville 7. Vancouver 8. Calgary 9. St. Louis 10. Dallas 11. Seattle 12. Arizona 13. Winnipeg 14. San Jose 15. Edmonton 16. Minnesota

Take aways from the Weaker West. Who cares.. GO EAST GO 

Stanley cup Final: Tampa vs Anaheim with Tampa winning and repeating in 5 games. 

Atlantic Division 

1)Tampa 2) Ottawa 3) Quebec 

Metro Division 

1) New Jersey 2) Washington 3) Carolina 

Wildcards  1) Boston 2) Columbus 

Russ Walsh Divison 

1) Chicago 2) St. Louis 3) Nashville 

Pacific Division 

1) Calgary 2) LA  3) Vegas

Wildcards 1) Colorado 2) Vancouver 

Stanley Cup Final 1) New Jersey vs Calgary (New Jersey wins 4-2)

GM of the Year : Steph Villneauve 

League MVP: Steven Stamkos 

Norris: Drew Doughty 

Vezina: Darcy Kuemper

Playoff MVP: Taylor Hall 

Boston, Mass

The Bruins are Deftones fans. They play their song's before and after most games. This is not news to anyone. They LOVE them. However after game 4 of their opening round series vs Quebec, which ofcourse was the finishing touch on being swept into the offseason, the B's had a certain song on repeat. A Deftones song no less. Change (In the house of flies). A mega hit for the NuMetal rockers off 2000's White Pony. Maybe it wasn't playing from their deathly quiet locker room but its fair to say it was ringing in the ears of management and players as they embarked on a longer than expected summer. I mean, its a great song but man were the Bruins hoping for more. Thus, changes were made. Starting with multi Norris trophy winner Erik Karlsson. He returns to Ottawa as the Bruins welcome back Torey Krug and add top six winger Tomas Tatar. The B's feel Krug isn't far off the player EK was for them. The newly rerated McAvoy will also look to cement himself as the new leader on D. Tatar finalizes a top six group that was always one scorer short. The feel good reunion with Milan Lucic is the other game changing trade GM Grant pulled the trigger on early. Losing a young scorer in DeBrusk wasn't ideal but adding Lucic improves the B's immediately.  The bottom six got revamped almost completely via trades, buyouts and FA. The early and unexpected retirement of Tuukka Rask is what leaves the Bruins the most vulnerable however. Linus Ullmark and Andrew Hammond will look to split starts between the pipes. Its a big transition year and time will tell ofcourse but change in the house of...Bee's..was expected.

IN: Torey Krug, Tomas Tatar, LUCIC, JVR, Chris Wagner, Gabriel Dumont, Byron Froese, Petr Straka, AJ Greer,  Andrej Sekera, Matt Grzelcyk, Andrew Hammond

OUT: Erik Karlsson, Tuukka Rask, Jake DeBrusk, David Perron, Nate Schmidt, Jack Dougherty, Nick Bonino, Adam McQuaid, Chris Terry, Miles Wood, Tomas Nosek, Craig Smith

Here are some bold predictions for this upcoming season.

Season Standings:

Atlantic: 1) Ottawa 2) Tampa Bay 3) Boston

Metro: 1) New Jersey 2) Pittsburgh 3) Carolina

Wild Cards: Washington / Detriot 

Central: 1) St. Louis 2) Nashville 3) Chicago 

Atlantic: 1) Vegas 2) Edmonton 3) Calgary

Wild Cards: Anaheim / Los Angeles 

Presidents Trophy: Vegas Golden Knights (weak west) 

Stanley Cup Final: Ottawa vs Vegas / Ottawa wins 4-3 

Playoff MVP: JT Miller 

Regular Season Awards: 

Season MVP: Brad Marchand

Norris: Shea Weber

Vezina: Jake Otteniger

Calder: Filip Zadina 

GM of the year: Stefan (EDM)

Lottery Winner: Minnesota