Written by yours truly,
Today's outlook will focus on the San Jose Shark. Yep, Shark, because they are currently not worthy enough to be in plural form.
I had spoke to GM of the Shark, Graham. I had requested 5 words to describe his team. Im not sure if he quite understood what this entailed. He sent me a sentence "fucking useless underachieving dumpster fire". Graham, I said 5 words to describe your team, not sentence - now this will look weird as I describe these words withyour team.
Lets start off with "fucking" and how it relates to the Shark. Well, clearly the Shark does not see blood as they are not hungry. They are one of the worsts teams in the league, standings wise. Quite surprising given that they have an above average roster. We are not sure what type of "fucking" is going on with this organization, but clearly something needs to change for next season.
Next is "useless", this term I am used to as I myself am the opposite of this word. Or perhaps this is a word to describe Steve Mason, the CCHL's darling. No pun intended as Graham has Scott Darling lol. Mason has had some useless seasons in the CCHL, having his best seasons with garbage shit team Carolina. For an 86 overall he sure plays like a 32 overall. I would classify Ehlers as usless as well. 42 points but a -21. What does that tell you?
The next word is "underachieving" - this word also describes my team immensely but lets stay on topic here. This team does not describe Ottawa as they are right where they should be lol. In terms of the Shark, yes a team with Duchene, Marner, Ehlers, Parayko, Seabrook, Mason and Laurent Dauphin should NOT be doing this bad. This could be a case of the Tampa Bay Lightning, where they suck randomly and turn into elite squirrels the next season.
The next word is "dumpster" - this word describes Jawhns team perfectly but I will need to stay on topic here.... Graham has every right to call his team a dumpster especially with a 26-35-12 record, although they have improved since the start of the season as I do remember they were winless in their first 20 games or so.
The final word is "fire" - something that I believe Graham will use to ignite his team next year. If not, he might need to begin a full scale rebuild.
Pro Roster Grade: B- = Some nice pieces, with an elite crop of UFAs upcoming, I belive Graham is two pieces away from competing in the AHL.
Prospect Rank: B+ = I HATE THAT I TRADED AWAY HOGLANDER BUT YOU HAVE NICE PROSPECTS AS WELL AS ZETTERLUND.
Organizational Strength: B = B MINUS AVERAGED WITH A B PLUS IS A B.
Sumit Rating: 90/100 = Upper Echelon, Ive known Graham for a few years now, we didnt like each other at first, but ever since we posted beard selfies 3 years ago we became friend.