*Eastern Conference GM Trigger Warning*
In what can only be described as a completely unnecessary act, Flames GM Chad Scanlan took to Slack on Monday afternoon to take shots at the “inferior” Eastern Conference.
“I’ve had it with those GM’s in the Eastern Conference” Scanlan said. “They go around acting like the East is better than the West, but when all the chips were down and we played a best on best game, who came out on top? The West. Simple as that.”
Scanlan, the self-proclaimed leader of the Western Conference GM Union, continued to dig his heels in while demonstrating why the West is the best; something that certainly won’t come back to haunt him when the Stanley Cup is awarded this post-season. Even with copious amounts of data proving him wrong, Scanlan didn’t hold anything back while taking aim at the other conference. “I don’t understand why they’re so fired up, I am just providing them with the facts. They seem to be somewhat fragile over there.”
While his Flames are currently in a tailspin and at risk of missing the playoffs, Scanlan was seen at the public library pulling pages from Brian Burke’s playbook, and is looking to rent a barn to fistfight all Eastern Conference GM’s except God.
Scanlan’s unnecessary outburst has put his flames in even more of a hotseat as the regular season winds down. When asked about possible dates for the barn fight, the Flames GM mentioned that his schedule should open up after the remaining nine games as he fully expects to miss the playoffs and has no draft picks in the upcoming draft.
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*This article should be seen as satire, I do not want to fight anyone.