Dun nanananana dun nanana dun nananana dun nananana dunananah!
And now your hosts of Coaches Corner, Juan Berry and Yvon McBain.
Juan -"Listen Yvon, I am getting a bit worried about this league right now, we are how many games into the season and we don't have one suspension! It's not that I want more suspensions, I think the players are turning into a bunch of European babies!"
Yvon -"Now let's not get in trouble right.."
Juan- "No don't you cut me off you RDS Ron McLean rip off, this CCHL is turning into a bunch of babies. I take a look around the league and see no grit, no drive, no aggression. My boy Boone Jenner, great kid, leading the league in hits at 73. 73! We should easily be double digits by now. Penalty minutes lead is 46! And that's Kris Letang! I mean we all know he's just trying to get a ticket out of Columbus but still, Kris Letang! This league needs a wake up call, it's embarrassing watching this hockey out there."
Yvon- "Well Juan, even though I disagree with you as I think the hockey has been great, what do you suggest can be done to fix this?"
Juan- *Rolls eyes and stares at Yvon* " Great, great? How do I get stuck with a dimwit like you on Hockey Night in Cancun, must be tequila night at the Senior Frogs and you don't drink. How do they fix it? It starts from the top! Look at the GMs in this league. Bunch of guys who we needed a search party to hear from them last year when they weren't in a playoff spot suddenly stirring up all kinds of noise. Just watch, things go south they are going to be like those Euro Hockey players and disappear again. Where is Kucherov these days? Then we got Hall of Fame GMs like Sumit and Hicks just getting poopooed on because they are too mean! Unbelievable. At least we know Sumit is always there to chirp win or lose, and Hicks is always there to put a poop emoji on a trade."
Yvon-"Well what is going right in the League"
Juan-"Well my boys, the Kraken aren't thats for sure. They better get going or heads will turn there. I know Ostrom won't take this garbage much longer. Rantanen, Hjmarllson, Kesler, they all better watch out or they are gone! My man Shea Weber, he's still trucking out there. That kid plays hockey how it should be played. Want to know why Seattle is doing poor? It's the West! I can't understand how the League can think the East even belongs in this conversation. There should be a CCHLA with the West Teams plus the Flyers and Leafs, and a CCHLB with the East teams. I take a look at the standings and see Tampa at the top, ya they are good but know they won't make it past round 1. Then it's just a selection of the finest west teams the league has to offer. It's like picking the finest Sudbury has to offer after Pub, can't go wrong! Colorado- Stud, Nashville - Stud, Anaheim - Stud, Edmonton - Stud, Vegas - Stud, Chicago - Stud, Calgary- Stud but you need a few beers in ya. The East is like picking the last hotdog on sale at a gross convenience store, you know it's there for a reason."
Yvon-"We only have a minute left, any last words?"
Juan-"How do we only have a minute left, I'm just getting started! Ugh il save some until next week. Before I go I like talking about the Rookies. Look at these beauties coming up, my cat Grey really loves these kids. You got that kid in Arizona lighting it up Texier (Tex - E - Ear), Chicago has Maksimov (Mack-Sim-E-Ov), Colorado has Olofsson (Olf-son) and San Jose has Zetterlund (no issues with this name for some reason). 4 kids who are going to do well in this league, and all in the West. Not surprising all in the West!"
Yvon-"Cant help but think there's a bit of bias there Juan"
Juan-"Can it you.'
Yvon-" Until next Tuesday, enjoy the rest of Hockey Night in Cancun"